


tangled together like roots in soil

by FullmetalChords, mother_hearted



Series: Toki and Meg's Faerghus Husbands AU [3]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Aftercare, Declarations Of Love, Developing Relationship, Dry Humping, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, No War AU, Pre-Timeskip | Academy Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:01:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25941028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FullmetalChords/pseuds/FullmetalChords, https://archiveofourown.org/users/mother_hearted/pseuds/mother_hearted
Summary: Claude has… gotten more comfortable with the way Dimitri is, now. They’ve both become better at communicating with one another, particularly after the incident that night Dimitri had come back from the baths. Better at listening to what the other needs… and better at asking the other for what they really want.Well… they have, a little, except for one thing.--Claude and Dimitri's relationship continues to deepen. When Rodrigue comes to discuss Dimitri's future, Claude finally chooses honesty.Co-written between FullmetalChords and mother_hearted, and posted for dmclbdayweek day 3!
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Claude von Riegan
Series: Toki and Meg's Faerghus Husbands AU [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1881556
Comments: 6
Kudos: 75





	tangled together like roots in soil

**Author's Note:**

> Just like our last two fics, this is written in alternating point of view between Dimitri (mother_hearted) and Claude (me). Please enjoy!

It’s bliss, finding themselves here again. 

Many weeks have passed now since Dimitri and Claude began courting each other. Often, Dimitri finds himself wandering to find Claude during free hours, spending their afternoons wandering the grounds hand in hand as they speak. Dimitri still largely spars and eats with other members of his house, all of whom now know about Claude… but the evenings in the library, and their nights in his room, are only for him and Claude.

Which is where they find themselves now. Claude on his back beneath Dimitri, mewling into his mouth, the bulge in his pants rubbing shamelessly against Dimitri’s leg. Both of them shirtless, now that Dimitri is a little more confident Claude isn’t repulsed by his body. It makes him flush - still fills him with latent shame to want someone like Claude so intensely - but not anywhere near enough to stop. 

Goddess, may this never stop. May he always find some way to keep Claude, to not frighten him away. 

Two months in, and this still hasn’t stopped. 

Claude is getting comfortable here, despite knowing better. Despite knowing that Dimitri will find some reason to leave, sooner or later… but ah, it’s hard to think about that right now. Hard to think about anything at all when Dimitri has him pinned to the mattress with his body, kissing him with the same single-minded determination that he shows in everything from his studies to the training grounds. 

Claude has… gotten more comfortable with the way Dimitri is, now. They’ve both become better at communicating with one another, particularly after the incident that night Dimitri had come back from the baths. Better at listening to what the other needs… and better at asking the other for what they really want.

Well… they have, a little, except for one thing.

Dimitri still has not asked for their positions to be switched. For Claude to be laid atop him, being the one to pin him down. Claude can still remember with crystal clarity the way Dimitri had reacted on their very first night, before they’d ever had sex. When he’d rolled Dimitri onto his back in this very bed. The way Dimitri’s eyes had gone wide, how he’d instantly gotten that much harder against Claude…

It might make him an incorrigible minx, but he wonders what it might be like to try that again.

It happens before Dimitri is ready to comprehend it. He and Claude are kissing as usual… and then Claude gives him a playful little shove, breaking Dimitri’s concentration. He makes a confused little noise, pulling back from the kiss -- but no, all he sees is Claude beaming up at him before he sits up, pulling Dimitri back into a kiss. 

“Oh…” Dimitri pulls Claude into his lap, fingers tangling in his hair as they kiss, following him even as Claude keeps moving, keeps shifting. Dimitri has to turn around just to keep kissing him, following Claude as he shuffles on his knees, trying to get him to hold still--

\-- and then it happens.

Claude surges forward again, still kissing Dimitri, but bumping into him just hard enough to throw him off-balance. Dimitri is- he’s on his back, head on his pillow, Claude framed in his vision just above him and beaming in triumph-

“There we go,” he thinks he hears Claude say. “Let’s try this again, shall we?”

Dimitri is… frozen. Unsure what to say or do to keep fooling Claude. So, so pink. He’s never- he’s never told Claude that he fantasizes about this. Being small. Being held. 

How on earth did he _know?_

The fact that Dimitri is suddenly so still and quiet might be enough to stop Claude in his tracks. To think he’s miscalculated something, to pull Dimitri back up and quietly apologize for startling him. 

But no… he’s redder than Claude has ever seen him. He’s looking right at Claude, apparently awaiting his next move. And his mind travels back again to that first night…

_I would not want to lose your respect if a side of me came to the surface that was not appropriate... I want to be the one who is… held._

Claude moves slow. Runs his hands up and down Dimitri’s sides. Meets his gaze.

“Are you willing to try it this way?” He gives Dimitri a smile that he hopes is patient. Truthfully, Claude would be just as happy sticking to what they know. For him to crawl back under Dimitri, for them to kiss and grind until they make a mess in both their pants, as they’ve done several times already. 

But Dimitri does not answer. Stubbornly looks away, that flush still building as it spreads down his neck. 

It gives him away more than anything he could possibly say, and Claude grins. 

“Come on,” he coaxes. He can’t resist bending down to kiss that spreading blush, a few gentle kisses at the corner of his jaw. “Tell me.”

It feels good. So much better than it has the right to feel. But Dimitri still… grumbles. Grimaces at the way Claude is treating him, his jaw tightening up. 

He knows how Dimitri feels. He must already have him pegged, identified this - weakness of Dimitri’s. Why is he teasing him like this? 

Claude’s warmth atop him is so… comforting. Better than any blanket. His hands tighten on Claude’s waist unconsciously.

“I know you can tell,” he mutters, still not looking at Claude. “I’m being so… obvious.”

“Mm…?” Claude tilts his head as he looks down at Dimitri. “That’s not much of an answer, Dimitri.”

He grinds against him, slow, trying to buy himself some time. Wanting to… to figure out what exactly it is that Dimitri wants from him. 

He knows Dimitri is hiding something. Knows that, even under all his sincerity, there is something he doesn’t want Claude to know. And it’s the not-knowing that terrifies him. 

And so Dimitri is a puzzle that he’s always trying to put together on his own. What does Dimitri want? What does he _actually_ want? Why does he think he can get it from Claude? Claude needs to figure out how to give whatever it is to him - and then how to keep giving it, or to learn if Dimitri will stay or leave as soon as he gets whatever he wants out of Claude. Just so he can know, so he doesn’t stay awake at night wondering how many more days are left on their invisible calendar. 

He feels like he’s on the razor’s edge, trying to figure out how best to keep Dimitri with him without trapping him outright.

Claude grinds against him and, ah, it feels so sweet… Dimitri lets out a cry he can't stop, even with slapping a hand to his mouth. Stares wide eyed, almost oddly demure when he looks away, flush burning in his skin. 

“Would you…” His voice is muffled behind his hand. “Would you be… displeased if I imagined us just like… this?” In all his fantasies alone. Imagining Claude looking down at him, rubbing against him, that mischievous little gleam in his eye as he thoroughly debauches Dimitri. 

"Like this?" Claude repeats, his hips still moving in a slow circle against Dimitri's. Hhh. He can feel how hard Dimitri is, can feel his own arousal growing. "Like... giving each other pleasure? Or..." 

He flushes too, his hands braced on either side of Dimitri's body as he drops his forehead against his. 

"Or did you mean with you under me. Taking whatever pleasure I give you." 

He doesn’t say it to be mean. He’s testing the waters to see how far they can take their little game, but oh, does he like the thought. Having Dimitri at his mercy. 

Those slow circles against his groin are as devastating as a landslide to his poor flustered brain. Even worse, when Claude calls him out with his last words. 

He could deny it, save some face. Just be a horny teenage boy... but Dimitri is a terrible liar and he shudders something fierce at those words.

_Taking you…_

Goddess, help him. 

His thighs part wider before he even thinks. "Uh. You. Hhh." The noises bite out of him unsuccessfully until he looks away, face painfully red, twisted up tight. "Don't make fun of me... please." 

He can't survive Claude's sharp tongue after being so thoroughly sussed out.

"I would never." 

Claude drops the glib attitude for a moment, taking Dimitri's face in his hands. 

"You like this. You... You _want_ it this way. You always have. I can tell." He leans in, presses the gentlest kiss to Dimitri's lips, a balm for his nerves. 

"We can do it another way if you want, or stop here for the night, but... Gods- I mean, goddess, Dimitri, you feel so good like this. Under me." Claude kisses him again. "Just tell me what you want, and I'll give it to you."

The whine Dimitri makes is low and unfiltered, as pathetic as he feels. Weak kneed even though he's on his back. Nerves rattling inside him worse than cutlery in a drawer. And somehow, Claude is being so nice about... Dimitri's tastes. How he wants to be like the wives and lovers and prizes of knights he's read in books. How Dimitri wants to welcome and accept the object of his affections between his legs - he trembles at the mere thought of Claude wanting to pretend right now. 

"I don't know - I didn't expect you to..." Be okay with it. Want to humor Dimitri. "Do you want to stay on top of me?"

He doesn't quite understand why Dimitri is so hung up on this. Claude was beneath him just moments ago and didn't feel...emasculated, in any way, by the pleasure he took in it. A little claustrophobic, perhaps, but not uncomfortably so. 

"Only if you want me to." He rubs at Dimitri's flank, feeling the way he trembles. "I want this to be something you enjoy, too. But..." And he grins again, slightly lupine. "I'm pretty happy here, I gotta say."

Maybe it’s a little selfish of him. Claiming some of the control he can never let go of. Feeling the effect he has on Dimitri, something that can't be faked.

He's too inexperienced to know why he responds this way to Claude's authority. Claude handles being in charge so easily, especially being in charge of bedroom... activities. All Dimitri knows is he's responding, belly boiling with how hot it feels. Dimitri drinks in that grin and... 

He believes Claude won't make fun of him. He believes that Claude is attracted to him. Maybe it's okay to be forthright and tell him... 

Dimitri steels himself with a deep breath.

"If you're sure, can..." It's so hard to say. He feels embarrassed. Claude is better at talking, better at pretending he knows what he's doing. Dimitri tries again, "Can we pretend we are... having intercourse?"

And he shivers at that, knees buckling. Claude is no more experienced than Dimitri is but he knows his own desires, is competent at taking care of them himself. It's taking care of someone else - taking care of Dimitri - that is new to him. 

"Yes..." He pauses for a moment, taking Dimitri's hands off his hips and carefully moving them to his bare back. "I like when you hold me," he explains, flushing again before dipping back down to kiss Dimitri again, longer this time, letting the heat fill him. 

"You're my first, you know," he says, moving Dimitri's legs further apart even while keeping both their pants on. "I've wanted you for ages...wanted to be inside you..." Playacting, a pantomime, but there's no denying the way he shivers in delight when he pulls his hips back, only to thrust forward as though entering Dimitri.

Claude's words and actions are the perfect one-two punch to knock Dimitri off guard. When he moves his hands to his back to kiss him, Dimitri is tempered by the reminder his touch is wanted, bringing a smile to his face that Claude can feel on his lips. 

It doesn't prepare him for Claude's playacting, thrusting against Dimitri, talking about _being inside him_. He feels like a lit match, bursting with fresh heat, liable to burn all the way down. His knees press into his sides. His already hardening cock strains against the front of his trousers. He stares wide-eyed in shock, mouth partially open. 

Oh. He can't help how his hips roll back. The way his eyes dart down between their hips. Like he can pretend to see Claude, Claude's - cock, buried inside him. Locking Dimitri in place.

"Claude..." Dimitri starts, unsure of where to go with it. He's not good at... sexy talk. Loses himself in memories of the poetic prose he's read, the vulgar stories shared around him, but none of them feel like... him. "Ah..." It feels embarrassing to lie here and say nothing while Claude - takes him. He wants to try.

_Inside you…_

"I want to be your sheathe," he whispers, fingers printing nervously into his back.

"O-oh..." He groans, unprepared for Dimitri saying something like... _that_. Unprepared for the effect it has on him, making him roll his hips with renewed determination, as though with enough enthusiasm he actually _could_ be inside Dimitri, they could actually be... 

He'd planned on engaging in a little more dirty talk. Something about how tight Dimitri feels around him, how good it feels to claim him... all things he's read in the erotica he's been stealing from Nader since first hitting puberty. But it all feels wrong. 

"Yes... Yes, I... I fit here, in you, so perfectly, Dimitri..." He swallows, unprepared for the emotions that sneak up on him. "We fit together," he whispers just before leaning down to fit his mouth to Dimitri's, a trembling hand on the underside of his thigh to keep his knee pulled back.

There's nothing to stop Dimitri from moaning and whimpering into Claude's mouth, unprepared to be told something ripped out of his fantasies. Being quiet has never been Dimitri's strong suit to begin with, and he entirely forgets they're in his room, with neighbors on both sides. 

Instead, he rocks back against Claude, trying to match his pace. As if he could get him deeper, somehow. Tightens the muscles in his leg to keep his knee pressed against his chest, giving Claude all the room he wants. 

They've made each other come before, but never from anything like this. Dimitri's heart pounds like he really is wrapped around Claude's cock…

"There... Right there!"

It doesn't matter that Claude's cock is still in his trousers, the head leaking against his stomach as he grinds against the underside of Dimitri's balls. "Nnn... So deep," he gasps, swept up in the fantasy, in the pleasure of it all. 

At having found somewhere to belong. 

Claude gasps Dimitri's name again, caught up in the heat of his body and the way his fingertips kiss petal bruises into his back. It's nothing like their previous fooling around-- that had been lovely, exploratory, but this, this is each of them naming his tastes, finding how they might fit together. 

"Gonna-- come inside you," he gasps, and presses the heel of his hand against the hardness straining against Dimitri's pants. Applying just enough pressure to provide stimulation, hoping it doesn't hurt him. "But not... before you... Dimitri..."

Once, during a combat drill, Felix had sent a student flying right into Dimitri, knocking him to the ground with a force even Dimitri couldn't withstand. Claude's words are just as heavy, sending lightning strikes to each vertebra in his spine. All Dimitri can imagine is the mess Claude would leave in his hole, and a wet spot seeps through his pants. 

When Claude's hand connects, grinding into his hard cock, Dimitri's eyes nearly roll back into his head. He just manages to stifle his scream, jaw clamping shut in one last desperate moment of self-preservation. His orgasm rips out of him violently, all of his muscles seeming to spasm. 

His body has never felt so good before. He's never let anyone handle his scarred flesh and hidden desires like this. No one has ever let him feel safe enough to try, until Claude.

He feels, rather than sees, the way Dimitri's orgasm overtakes him, his abs rippling against Claude's, his back arching, and Claude moves his other hand to the curve of Dimitri's lower back, keeping Dimitri arched against him as he gives one final thrust-- 

"Dima-" 

He cannot get out Dimitri's whole name before he comes, seed coating his own lower stomach, imagining that he is filling Dimitri to the brim. Being claimed and welcomed by him in a way no one has before. 

It's... an incredible feeling. He never wants to let it go. He ends up lowering himself onto Dimitri, shivering slightly, keeping his hands exactly where they are as he rides out the aftershocks, little sparks still firing through his brain and down to the base of his spine. 

It's never felt this good before. Never felt so... emotional, before. Like Dimitri's arms are a place he can belong-- 

Now there's a dangerous thought. He tries to clamp down on it before it seeps deeper into his heart, but in the wake of his orgasm, brain flooded with serotonin, it's hard to stop something so tender from taking root.

All the tension inside Dimitri's body snaps in a half second once he finishes, left dreamy and oozing back into his bed. Like he's floating high in the sky, hidden just above the clouds. He, uncharacteristically, wants to laugh, in such good humor he doesn't recognize himself. His body but not. 

Normally the thought would send him spiraling... but in Claude's hands, all he feels is safe and well cared for. Dimitri lets his weight trap Claude's hand under his low back, the touch intimate and welcome in his ooey-gooey state. Reinforces his hold around Claude, keeping him on top of him as much as thanking him with affection. 

Claude has always been special. It’s why Dimitri could never keep his eye off him, why Dimitri wanted to be courted by him, have his confession accepted. He was drawn in by his differences, yes, but what happened tonight reaffirms what Dimitri has always known. 

They meet each other in the middle, no matter what. 

Dimitri presses soft kisses to Claude's face, quietly sighing his name.

He doesn't think he'll ever understand why Dimitri chooses to accept him like this. To ask Claude to court him. To welcome him into his bed night after night. 

He is more grateful for it than he can express in words... 

...but he cannot understand it. 

Cannot understand what makes Dimitri so different from everyone he's known before. Cannot understand the ease with which he welcomes Claude into his arms. But... Claude has never been one to shy away from what he does not understand. Instead, he keeps creeping ever closer, trying to solve the mystery. 

He lies atop Dimitri for long moments, letting himself be kissed, kissing Dimitri in return. The dampness inside his pants is starting to grow slightly unpleasant, the longer they go on. Squishy, oozing into the seams of his undergarments.

"Um..." He kisses the end of Dimitri's nose before pulling back, just a hair. "I could, um. Clean us up now, if you wanted." This is usually the part where they separate, clean themselves up before heading to their respective beds, but Claude isn’t ready for the night to end.

Dimitri is thankfully more with it when Claude offers to clean them up. Cooled down by the passage of time, his own nose wrinkles when he shifts, feeling the mess in his own garments. He's already overdue for a trim and doesn't want to deal with it drying on him. 

"No, it's about time. Um, I could - " And Dimitri extends his own offer, words cartwheeling off his tongue easily. "Clean us both up. I was the one who suggested the activity." The mess, stupidly enough, hadn't even been a thought in his mind. 

He sits up but keeps Claude with him, unable to let him go just yet. Keeps his arm around his back when they're both sitting on his bed.

"If you don't mind the slight difference in size, you can wear some of my things for the night. If you wanted to walk back or stay the night with me." 

The arm around Claude's back says enough about how much Dimitri wants Claude to stay. Dimitri is never one to tell Claude to go back to his own room, not once in all their nights exploring one another. It's a reality, often a necessity pending on morning classes but never something Dimitri desires... Especially not after tonight. They were only pretending to do it... but it feels like they really did and Dimitri isn't ready to part. Not by a long shot.

It's Dimitri's arm around him, more than his words, that truly has an effect on Claude. Telling him, more effectively than any pretty words could, how much Dimitri wants him to stay... 

He nods, mutely, kissing Dimitri again, pressing their mouths together, overcome at the thought of staying the night here, feeling Dimitri's arms around him. He's always had the invitation since the very first night they kissed, but Claude has never taken him up on it, at least not for long. Staying the night has felt like too much of an imposition... or something in Claude's skin has inevitably started to itch, making him feel too penned in. He’s always needed to get away, to look at whatever this is in the privacy of his own room, where he can safely fall apart.

But this lovely experiment tonight makes him reluctant to fall into his old habits. 

Even so... Claude's nose wrinkles at Dimitri's suggestion, even as the prince opens the drawer on his bedside table to take out a couple of clean handkerchiefs. 

"You don't have to, um. Clean me up." He flushes as he tries to articulate it. "I can do that myself. I mean, isn't it… gross?" He's not sure if it is, himself...but it doesn't feel right, asking Dimitri to clean up the mess Claude made of himself.

For all Dimitri has revealed hidden depths of himself to Claude, his fluster and shyness, he's still the thick headed boy everyone knows to avoid on the training ground. Matter-of-fact when he turns around to face Claude again. "It's just spunk." 

Maybe if this was the first time, he wouldn't be so frank about it. Luckily, he's had time to adjust to this intimacy. He accepts that the ugly face he makes when he comes is one Claude wants to see, for whatever reason. They've cleaned themselves up in front of each other too, really, it's not a big deal to him. 

Besides, "It's like when I massage your shoulders or help you with cavalry lessons. I want to take care of you." 

He gives a smile, his own version of a tease, fueled by the feeling of closeness between them. "Now take off your pants."

He can't help but snort at the way Dimitri smiles at him. Gives his own bashful little smile before nodding, slow.

"Okay." He shifts, starting to inch his pants down. He doesn't know why he feels so shy about this-- they've just pretended to fuck, after all. They've made each other come before, Dimitri has seen him naked before. But for whatever reason, Dimitri’s suggestion feels so… imbalanced to him. 

Then he gets an idea. "Can I clean you up, while you clean me up?" He gives Dimitri a mischievous little smile as he peels off his undergarments, leaving himself bare, his cock limp against his thigh and his stomach sticky. "It's only fair."

"Don't look at me like that, you scoundrel." Dimitri blushes, can't cope with that smile while Claude undresses. "Yes, I don't mind." He grumbles, setting down the pair of handkerchiefs on the bed while he opens up his pants. With how the front of his undergarments glue themselves to the lining of his pants, he doesn't bother separating them, instead pushing them down together. 

Looking between them, he notices he's come more than Claude, and can't help making a face. Must his body be so honest... 

"It's late, neither of us can afford to be riled up again." Not that he thinks Claude is looking to cause that kind of trouble, but it's a good reminder for both of them. Goddess knows Dimitri will probably have to field the worst teasing from Sylvain tomorrow.... Ugh. 

He brushes off the thought and settles on his knees next to Claude, passing him a handkerchief.

"I'll try to contain myself, Your Princeliness," he tells Dimitri with a wink. In truth, he's too wrung out to go a second round, though he can't help the way he twitches when Dimitri runs a dampened handkerchief along his stomach. He just smiles while Dimitri looks at him in exasperation, saying "sorry" while clearly not being sorry. How can he help it if his body is interested in being close to Dimitri? 

He can't quite express what a relief it is to do the same with Dimitri, carefully cleaning him. He's made more of a mess than Claude, and he throws in a little comment about how flattering that is, since Dimitri seems slightly embarrassed by it. But if Claude had simply been lying here while Dimitri cleaned the both of them, he wouldn't have been able to stand it. The inequality of it, doing nothing while making Dimitri handle this himself. 

Once done, he balls up the handkerchief, feeling the strangest urge to keep it. Something to remember this night by. But he shakes it off, putting it in Dimitri's hand before taking that same hand and kissing his knuckles. Getting a whiff of Dimitri's spunk, proof of how badly he wanted Claude tonight. 

"I think you said something about letting me borrow your loungewear for the night?"

"I did." Dimitri moves to place the used handkerchiefs in their bin for washing tomorrow morning. Doesn't realize why his heart is picking up speed when he turns with the blue and black loungewear for Claude to wear to bed. He's naked now, lovely and sated and Dimitri doesn't want to get used to the sight, always wants to feel awe and wonder at his presence in his bed. 

Watching him take the offered clothing introduces him to an intimacy previously unknown. Claude sets to dressing like it's no big deal, but Dimitri is staring, watching him wear the same outfit Dimitri has countless times. Somehow, it's more intense than Claude's nudity. The sight of him has Dimitri's fingers itching to fidget, restless with a warmth that isn't necessarily arousal but works him up regardless. 

In truth, he hasn't worn it lately. It was his size when he first received it but he's grown bigger since the start of the school year, broadening all over and it's gotten uncomfortably snug. It's looser on Claude but not terribly so, thank the goddess. 

Satisfied, Dimitri crawls under his covers, still quite naked. Moves on autopilot to fluff his pillow for them to share.

This bed is awfully narrow, Claude realizes once Dimitri gets under the covers with him. Has it always been like that? Just this side of cramped, Claude wedging himself between Dimitri and the wall. It's not uncomfortable, not yet, but he can feel the claustrophobia starting to creep back under his skin. 

Even so...he has no intention of leaving tonight. He sticks his feet in between Dimitri's, squeaking a little when he feels how cold Dimitri's toes are after having been on the floor. They warm in short order, though, and Claude cannot help but glow as he thinks of himself in Dimitri's space. Wearing his clothes, sharing his pillow, their legs twining together to echo the way Dimitri has wound his way into Claude's... affections. 

"It's really soft," he says, plucking at the shirt Dimitri has lent him. It's only a little big on him, loose and comfortable for sleeping. "I didn't realize... I never wear mine. It's not a good shade of green on me." He smiles, running a hand along Dimitri's arm as he lays on his side. "Thanks for letting me borrow it. 

"Do you always sleep naked?" he can't help but ask, curious, without a hint of judgment. There's so much he doesn't know about Dimitri, after all. So much he can still learn... Being in his bed with him like this, their activities long concluded, Claude knows he's intruding, an invader. But he'll make the best of this chance, as long as Dimitri lets him.

Dimitri gives his own smile for Claude's thanks. "Of course." It's not the first time they've slept in his bed together, but this will be the first night Claude stays through until the morning. Before, they would only nap a few hours before Claude woke him in the middle of the night, kissing him goodbye, then parting until they could run into each other at the mess hall or elsewhere. 

He's warmed through and through by Claude squished up against him. He'll have to take care not to squish him further… He’d rather drop out of bed than hurt Claude in his sleep. 

As for Claude's question, Dimitri's blinks, just now aware of how odd it must seem to see him naked now after all his issues with being seen (and not liking how he looks.) "My core stays fairly warm and I have a tendency to overheat during the night. This ended up being the easiest way to monitor my temperature." 

...and there's another reason. One that Dimitri isn't keen on sharing. How it feels less suffocating after his nightmares, how he's less likely to claw at his skin convinced something is wrong when there isn't anything there. Has scratched himself bloody and deep from a night terror he couldn't escape for several minutes after waking up. 

But the bad dreams never seem to appear on the nights he sees Claude. It makes Dimitri feel more secure that he isn't putting Claude at risk. 

Embarrassment flickers over his face when another thought hits. "Urm, in the morning if you feel me... poking you, please ignore it. Or shove at me to roll over."

The way Dimitri blusters always makes Claude smile a little wider, makes him feel a little stronger. 

"You don't have to be embarrassed," he tells Dimitri as he tucks a lock of hair behind his ear. "That happens to me in the morning, too. Might lead to a little extra fun in the morning, if you wanted." His eyes sparkle as he rests his hand at the back of Dimitri's neck. "But it wouldn't bother me. Nothing about you does..." 

Mystifies him, yes. Entrances him, absolutely. But Claude is not easily annoyed, and certainly not by the bodily functions of anyone he is courting. 

Courting. He and Dimitri are courting. He still can't wrap his head around how this happened, whenever he takes a moment to look around. Doesn't know what trick he pulled, somewhere back down the line, to get someone as thoughtful as Dimitri to care about him. There are times, when he kisses Dimitri goodnight and heads back to his own room, when the mystery of it keeps him up at night, needing to find the answer before he comes across the end of this road. 

He feels a shadow falling over his face, the longer he thinks about it, and quickly pulls his smile back on, not wanting Dimitri to think it's anything to do with him. 

"You won't be too warm with us close like this, I hope," he tells Dimitri. "If you get too hot, you can... I don't know, send me back to my room so you can get some rest." He knows Dimitri has been losing sleep lately, though he doesn't understand why. Only sees how tired he looks following the nights they spend apart. "I won't be offended."

'You're a slippery one, Claude von Riegan.' 

'Now that I have you, I won't let you go!' 

Those are some plucky comments he could say, dynamic like lines in a script. All unlike Dimitri, not one meant for jests. He watches Claude's face as he speaks, feels his heart quietly weep when his fingers brush his bangs back. There's too little space in Dimitri's bed for two grown boys and too little space in his body to contain all the feelings Claude inspires. 

For Dimitri has only just realized something: With Claude's outstretched hand, he has planted the seeds of self-acceptance. Dimitri's flesh may be scarred and ugly, and his heart may be too soft to match the strength in his body, but his desires do not make him unwanted, or undesirable. There is space for someone like Dimitri to exist. 

Even if it is only in Claude's arms, Dimitri is allowed to be a boy who yearns, who dreams of being _romanced,_ who does not have to trade in his power or respect to receive the care he seeks. There may be no one in Faerghus who accepts him, and Claude may be the only one kind enough to hold Dimitri... but there is no one else Dimitri wants. 

Claude is not special because he likes Dimitri or gives him this attention. He was special far before that. For his wit. His kindness. His wicked mischief. His solitary nature that drew Dimitri in before anything else. 

That he is attracted to Dimitri is a bonus. That his desires complement Dimitri's is a bonus too. What matters is this: this peaceful co-existence where Claude steals his attention and allows Dimitri to stop being a prince, a soldier, a leader. 

With Claude he's Dimitri... and maybe one day, he can feel like Dimitri without Claude too. 

"I won't," Dimitri assures. Gently caresses Claude's cheek with a smile, something more private than anything they've exchanged tonight. "I want you here with me."

Claude can't help the way his breath hitches. At Dimitri's gentle touch, at his too-kind words. 

_I want you here with me._

Claude cannot articulate what those words mean to him. What's more, he hardly wants to. He humiliated himself enough, that first night, when revealing to Dimitri just how isolated he feels at Garreg Mach. It's clear that, even as their courting has continued, Dimitri has little sense of how deep that goes for Claude. Which, to Claude, is only a good thing. He doesn't know if he can handle the mortification of Dimitri being acutely aware of his deepest insecurities, openly discussing or even soothing them. Coddling him in a way even his mother never did. 

If Dimitri did so, it would be an embarrassment, not a kindness. 

Claude knows that he belongs nowhere. Not in Almyra, not in Fodlan, and no, not even here, in Dimitri's bed. But... 

But when Dimitri looks at him like that, touches him so gently... He thinks he can forget that, just for a little while. 

"Okay," he whispers, his throat tight and overcome. He clears his throat so his voice might be a little stronger. "Okay. I'll... stay the whole night." Even though his mind will surely be working furiously for the next couple of hours, always trying to solve the mystery of his courtship with Dimitri, trying to puzzle out ways to achieve his own varied ambitions. 

He wants so badly to set it all down, just for a moment. Somewhere safe where he can fall apart and still be seen as strong. But such a place does not exist.

Dimitri is a stranger to the demons that lurk through the halls of Claude's heart, just as Claude is a stranger to his. There's an irony there, blacker than the coffee Dimitri drinks when he does not feel like pretending he can taste. An irony that escapes them both. 

Dimitri holds tight to the hope that glints enticingly like a lost needle in a haystack, and he drops an arm around Claude's waist. Greets the night with no fear of skeletons hauling him away. Only Claude, warm and bright in Dimitri's arms, grounding him in the world of the living. 

"Sleep well, Claude." He presses a kiss to his mouth, and another, and another, finally pulling himself away with an apologetic laugh to turn and blow out the sole remaining candle. Sweeping the room into darkness appropriate for sleep. 

Dimitri lets himself drift off, legs tangled with Claude's, his arm anchoring Claude to his side. "I'll see you in the morning." Unnecessarily earnest. Excited at the prospect of waking up together in the morning. Simple Dimitri.

"Good night," Claude murmurs, hoarse. Lips still tingling from where Dimitri's had touched his. His fingers curl, unconsciously, at the nape of Dimitri's neck, instinctively keeping him close. 

He should be winding down from the day, but his heart is only beating faster, knowing Dimitri is so close to him, curled up naked and warm and pressing against him. His limbs keeping Claude in place in a way that doesn't feel restrictive. Giving him a place he wants to be. 

He cannot name the pounding of his heart so quickly, not right away. He thinks at first that he is afraid, though he cannot define what about this frightens him. But...no, he finally realizes. His heart pounds from _excitement_. Happiness over the kind way Dimitri treats him, the way he has opened his bed to him for the night. Giving him his clothes, kissing him and telling him he looks forward to the morning. 

Claude runs his tongue over his lips, settling against Dimitri's pillow, watching the way his blue eyes slowly drift shut.

Wondering if this is a sight Claude can dare to get used to. 

\---

“You have no right to speak that way about him.”

“Your Highness, if I may...”

“I don’t care how far you’ve come to speak with me! I told you, I don’t want to hear it!”

Two voices, one tranquil and the other furious, drift out of the knights’ hall while Claude passes by. One of them all too familiar to him - and his heart sinks, approaching the source of the argument. 

“Dimitri?”

His beau turns to look at him, anger flashing in his eyes for just a moment before it fades, leaving him looking drained. 

“Ah… Claude,” Dimitri says, sounding uncertain. “I…”

But Claude doesn’t wait to hear Dimitri finish his sentence. Instead, he steps between Dimitri and the man he’s speaking to; he looks strangely familiar, dark shoulder-length hair and piercing blue eyes, but Claude can’t think of where he’s seen him before. 

“Hi,” Claude tells the other man cheerfully. “Do you mind if I borrow His Highness for a few minutes? It’s time for our…” He casts through his mind; what are traditional courting traditions in Faerghus, anyway? “...chaperoned walk around the grounds. Or whatever.”

The other man looks taken aback. “Ah,” he says faintly. “Very well…” He turns back to Dimitri. “We can finish our discussion when you return, Your Highness.”

“We will not,” Dimitri snaps, and that’s when Claude hooks his arm through his, guiding him out of the knight’s hall.

“Come on, Highness...ness,” he says, still within earshot of the man. “Let’s get some air, hm?”

Whatever conversation he’d walked into, it hadn’t been a pleasant one. Claude hopes he can at least help Dimitri clear his head. 

Dimitri is… gloomy. There’s no hiding it from Claude, or denying it to himself. 

His eighteenth birthday came and went with more fanfare than he’d wanted. There had been a lovely party from his house members, of course… an equally lovely evening with Claude following… But now that he’s of age, now that his graduation from Garreg Mach is fast approaching, his advisors are demanding more of him. Their letters fly thicker and faster, Dimitri’s migraines peaking as he deals with each one. 

But he hadn’t expected Rodrigue to come here, in person. Nor had he expected that their meeting would not remain civil for long. Not when Rodrigue had gently steered the conversation to what he really wanted to discuss. 

_“My son tells me about your courtship with the Riegan heir… I understand. This is the last of your boyhood, you have the right to enjoy yourself. But we shall soon have to decide the matter of your real courtship, hm?”_

“Real courtship”. As though what he has with Claude is anything less than real. 

Dimitri has always known what his Kingdom demands of him. To become the King his father had once been. To take some noble girl as his queen and sire heirs with her, ensure the continuation of his family line… Never mind that he has never felt even a spark of interest for any girl. Never mind that he has already chosen who he will court. To them, Dimitri has always been a simple puppet, someone who will stand where he’s told and do what his father would…

Dimitri keeps brooding all the way around the academy courtyard. Only vaguely aware of Claude’s hand on his upper back, his voice in his ear. He shudders under his touch, looking at his suitor with dark eyes before--

“Will you still be with me after we graduate?” He’s upset, can’t shut anything down, has never been able to keep a lid on his emotions. “Even though I will be in the Kingdom and you in the Alliance?”

Claude just gapes at him for a moment. For him, the question comes out of nowhere… He hadn’t been expecting it, and certainly wasn’t expecting it _now_.

"I-I..." He laughs without humor, resting a hand against his forehead. "Sheesh, Dimitri. You really know how to throw a guy for a loop. Where's all this coming from?"

He doesn't know how to give an honest answer without more information, especially when he's taking this whole courtship thing one day at a time. Following Dimitri's lead, waiting for him to finally get tired of Claude, trying to mentally prepare himself for the day he’s discarded.

"Do you want to, yes or no?" Dimitri pushes, voice growing thick with emotion. "Because I do. Rodrigue came to, to _scold_ me as if this was some _summertime fling._ I told him he was wrong, and that I wouldn't stand him slandering our relationship!"

"What?" 

There's...too much for him to process here. The fact that Rodrigue - _Fraldarius_ , Claude’s brain supplies, he looked familiar because of how much he looks like Felix… Rodrigue and Dimitri were fighting because… of _Claude_ , of all people. The fact that Dimitri has, apparently, already thought of them continuing outside of the bubble of Garreg Mach. It’s much further in the future than Claude has ever let himself think, when it comes to his relationship with Dimitri. 

But Dimitri didn't ask Claude what was possible. He asked him what he _wanted_ And Claude only has one answer for him, terrifying though it is to give. 

"Yes." His voice is very small; he'll never be as brash as Dimitri when it comes to proclaiming the things his heart wants. "I... Dimitri, from the start I told myself I would stay, as long as you want me. So... my answer is yes." 

He bites his lip.

The tension in Dimitri's face eases when he hears Claude's ‘yes’... but Dimitri doesn't get hooked as easily on what he wants to hear. He’s been with Claude long enough that he catches it all. Everything Claude isn’t saying. 

His brow knits together in confusion. "What do you mean, you told yourself you would stay?" And he drags Claude further into their corner of the courtyard. "If you have wanted to be with me all along, and I want to be with you..." 

His gaze becomes imploring, "what am I missing?" 

Their relationship outside of the Academy will not be easy. It will be hard not being together, limiting their relationship to correspondence until they can possibly meet outside their schedules. Nourishing their love amidst all the political burdens and demands of everyone around them - 

"Is it truly wrong to have something that is just for us?"

"Ah..." Claude averts his gaze for a moment, unable to bear Dimitri's intense scrutiny. They’re out in the open, but Claude can feel his claustrophobia tugging at his throat. It feels like Dimitri is pulling Claude's heart straight from his chest and sticking it under a magnifying glass. Out here, in public. 

"Dimitri..." He swallows, shaking, knowing that his true feelings will make Dimitri angry. "I... I want to be with you. I do. I decided, that first night, that I would try, and I... I want to keep trying. But..." He shuts his eyes. He has to just say it. 

"But maybe one day you'll change your mind about me. And, and that's okay! What you feel now doesn't have to be how you feel a year from now. I won't, hah, I won't lose sleep over it." 

But he will. He already is. Staying up night after night, wondering if he’s already done the thing that Dimitri will one day leave him over. Already waiting for that shoe to drop, for the price for his youthful foolishness to be paid. He doesn't get to keep something as... good, as Dimitri, without paying a price for it later. He's known it all along.

Dimitri's face falls into shock, knows he's still standing yet feels like he's been thrown to the ground, left looking up winded at the sky. 

"Change my mind...? How can you say that?" Hurt rather than angry, as Claude keeps a closed off face in front of him, tone portraying nonchalance when Dimitri knows better. 

Can't help his own incredulous tone. "Have you been waiting for me to change my mind this whole time?" He can't stop himself from stepping forward, hands falling on Claude's shoulders to keep him in front of Dimitri, to force Dimitri into focus, the center of Claude's world for just this moment. 

"You said you want to keep trying but then say in the same breath you won't lose sleep over it," and he is mad, "Don't lie to me! Not about this! I told you from the start this wasn't an experiment! I have never thought of our relationship as something superficial, easily replaceable like a buckle on a belt." 

His face falls. "You are special to me - but now I don't know if I've failed to show you or if you're blindly looking away." 

He doesn't understand. Dimitri is the one with _baggage_. He’s the one who will give Claude full reason to walk away the moment he realizes how damaged Dimitri is, how difficult it would be to live with him. Dimitri knows in their time apart he has to do the best he can to avoid that, must fix himself to avoid burdening Claude with the demons that haunt him.

Everything's going wrong again. Just like that first night, when he'd tried to be honest with Dimitri, to give him a chance to save himself from Claude. Claude's whole world seems to flip sideways, saved from toppling over only by Dimitri's hands on his shoulders, demanding his attention. Demanding that he not run. 

His breath is shallow in his lungs. His face a mask that is only saved from pure stoicism by the fact that he cannot seem to get enough air, gulping in breaths far too quickly. Dimitri is... angry. Hurt. All because of Claude's foolishness. All because he spoke his truth. 

He sucks in one quick breath, then another. Is he a fool because he let this go on so long? Or... or is Dimitri right? Has he been blindly looking away from what's right in front of him? How was he supposed to know, either way? How was he supposed to know what really lies behind all of Dimitri's affections, when he knows Dimitri has always been hiding something from him? 

"Not lying," he croaks, and it's only then that he realizes how close he is to bursting into tears. Right here, in the academy courtyard. His legs wobble with the urge to run for cover, but Dimitri is still holding him fast -- 

"We- can we-?" He turns, looking with some longing for the deserted classrooms just behind them. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I just... I can't..."

A shame hued blush breaks across Dimitri's cheeks when he realizes he is using force to keep Claude in place. Pulls back only to take Claude's hand gentle and firm in his, to walk them over to the deserted Golden Deer classroom. 

Clears his throat, looking guilty and apologetic once they end up in front of the professor's desk at the front of the room. 

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have started this conversation in the green, I wasn't thinking." 

In his worry and gloom, his thoughts don't hesitate to berate him: _Of course you weren't. Buffoon. You're nothing but a brute. All you know how to do is push and scream and claw your own eyes out. He'll see it too, when you attack him one night._

He tries to ignore them, make the thoughts background noise that follows him where he goes, something he's used to, another thing he pretends isn't happening. 

"I... believe you aren't lying but I still don't understand."

Claude shakes his head. "Ah… not your fault. This wasn't that conversation until, hah, it was." All because Claude can't keep his mouth shut. 

Dimitri is still holding his hand. Claude clings to it, trying to get his thoughts in order. Trying to even out his breathing so he doesn't hyperventilate or cry while trying to have this conversation. Because if he cries- then it's all over. Then this conversation becomes Dimitri trying to comfort him instead of the two of them talking things out. 

"I told you a long time ago," he starts slowly, "that I didn't think you would want me, because no one did." He takes another deep breath. "People who know me well, like you do, they... they don't tend to like me. And you -- this -- the longer we go on, the more you get to know about me..." 

The more likely it is that Dimitri, too, will decide Claude isn't enough. That he won't like what he sees when all of Claude is revealed to him. The words stick in his throat, but the thought won't leave, and he knows Dimitri can hear it now, too. 

"I want to stay, Dimitri. I... I want _you_ to stay, too. What we have together, it means so much to me. I just wanted you to know that when you change your mind, too, I won't hold it against you. Those two things, they aren't contradictory the way you think. I'm just... trying to prepare myself. In case." In case Dimitri leaves, just like everyone who's ever seen Claude's true face has. 

The memory of his parents pops into his head just then. How they had always taught young Khalid to be self-sufficient, to not lean on others to solve his problems for him. To never learn to rely on others, not for any reason. He almost wants to laugh; what would they think, if they could see him now, pathologically unable to accept that anyone could possibly stay with him, let alone love him, for long? 

They would be proud, he thinks bitterly. 

"There is no _when,_ ” Dimitri tells him firmly. “I will not change my mind. If anything should change between the two of us it will only be that I..." Dimitri pulls himself closer to Claude, expression firm with resolve. 

"I will yearn for you more than ever when we must be apart, when all I can comfort myself with is letters until the moons pass and I can see you again." 

He is not naive about their future together, nor is he naive about what Claude is telling him. It makes sense, in a heart wrenching way, to hear Claude claim he has been rejected outright by the people in his past. ...Only recently does Dimitri see he is an exception to Claude's masks and schemes, experiencing a version of himself that he doesn't dare show anyone else. 

It highlights just how much of a hypocrite Dimitri is. 

He swallows. "Your fears of me... rejecting you because of who you are, I can understand them. There are things I haven't wanted to show you, out of..." He rubs at the back of his neck. "It is public knowledge my past is a sad story. You are well aware of the tragedy, how my Kingdom struggles." 

He has to tell him, he can't let this conversation be so one-sided. If they cannot have an equal relationship now, they will not be able to last when they are apart. 

"...I have never spoken of my troubles. I." Now that he's here, his speech becomes jerky and slow. Clumsy, his discomfort all too genuine. "I do not often sleep well. My moods reflect that. When I sleep I see phantoms and flames..." and this is it, just do it, show him you're serious, give him his opportunity to walk away too. "- and sometimes when I wake up, they are still there. They speak to me. I argue with them." 

Dimitri bites his lip, silent for a long time. 

Voice rough, "I'm sorry. You were under the impression I was normal. I wanted to be for you." Wanted to like himself more for Claude. Make himself easier to be around. To some extent he has. He has dropped most of his princely act around Claude but... 

"I knew I would have to tell you. Or, I thought... I could fix it before the day came when we could live together. There would be no way of hiding, at that point, that I am not... right." 

He hears his heart thundering in his ears. He's looking at Claude and he's terrified. 

"You fear I'll change my mind but I fear the same."

"Dimitri..." 

Claude can't help the way his heart goes out to him, at that moment. He knows of the Tragedy, of course he does -- he had read all about it in books, and Dimitri has alluded to it once or twice -- but he had no idea that Dimitri was still suffering from its effects to this extent. 

Claude's always had a bit of a protective streak when it comes to Dimitri. Not that Dimitri often needs him coming to his rescue... but Claude generally wants to keep him safe. From their classmates spreading cruel rumors about him, from the world when he clings to Claude in the throes of pleasure, at his most vulnerable. 

But he cannot protect Dimitri from... this. From something that has already happened, from his dreams, from his... phantoms. Claude is a man of action, likes to puzzle out solutions to problems that are laid before him, but... 

Well... he is not sure if Dimitri's condition is something that he can solve. Nor, upon reflection, is Dimitri telling him this because he is asking Claude to fix him. 

"Dima..." he tries again, then shakes his head. "No. Come here." 

And he pulls Dimitri into an embrace, holding him close, feeling the way he goes rigid against him. 

"Thank you for telling me," he says, the words muffled in the blue silk on Dimitri's shoulder. "It sounds like you've been suffering with this for a long time... I can't imagine how hard it must have been to face it alone." It makes everything Claude has had to face on his own, in fact, feel like small potatoes in comparison. What is a lifetime of ostracism, fleeing his home alone at the age of 15, compared to something so catastrophic, so earth-shattering? 

"But you don't have to anymore." He holds Dimitri close. "Not alone. Not anymore. You don't have to be normal for me. All you have to be is Dimitri." 

And he digests not only what Dimitri is telling him… but the reason why Dimitri is telling him this now. If Dimitri is no longer holding anything back… 

Then why should Claude?

He presses his lips to the badge on Dimitri’s shoulder for a moment before raising his chin to speak again, finally give Dimitri the words he’s held back for too long. 

"Dimitri's the person I love."

Dimitri did not tell Claude the truth to elicit sympathy from him. Had wanted nothing more than to make things right between them, deliver on the equal partnership Claude deserved. Dimitri was not seeking comfort, but in this moment he realizes it's not unwanted. Because Claude is accepting him, more fully than Dimitri had ever hoped for. Claude is not throwing him away, even knowing that Dimitri is damaged goods. Tainted long before he had the chance to give anyone his pure heart. 

To hear that Claude loves him just as he is...

He's frozen like a block of ice until his lips part and he realizes, eyes dry, he is weeping. Claude is holding him in this classroom like they are cocooned safely in Dimitri's room and Dimitri's arms finally wrap around him tight. His weight leans into Claude begging him to keep Dimitri steady as he falls into Claude's embrace. 

"And Claude is the person I love." He bites his lip, looking at Claude and his beautiful, piercing eyes. "So do not say my feelings will change. I won't fall out of love with you. I will graduate and make my intentions known in the Kingdom, and they will accept it." He gives a fierce nod. "I will always fight for you, your sass and your loving arms and your mischief that gives me headaches. And to the fiendish gremlin in your brain who tells you otherwise? I say, shut the hell up." 

And he holds Claude tight, shaking, knowing he is plowing on ahead, but he means all of it. Will not take it back. Even if Claude doesn't truly know what he's getting into... 

Dimitri will try.

He can feel Dimitri shaking in his arms, but truthfully Claude is shaking, too. Trembling with the certainty with which Dimitri talks about their future. Announcing their courtship to the Kingdom. Sharing tender letters long after they've graduated, looking forward to the days they can reunite. Telling Claude that he'll... he'll never fall out of love, with Claude. 

Claude had never told Dimitri he loved him, before today. Complimented him, told him things he admires about him, admitted to wanting him close, but... but this has been the last hurdle. The last gem he was hoarding, a secret he could take to his grave if Dimitri ended up leaving him. 

It's been a mistake, he can see now, holding it back so long. Gods, why was he so foolish for so long, so frightened to share how he truly felt? What had it accomplished, in the end? He'd only made himself feel more frightened, only made Dimitri feel more alone. 

"I love you," he repeats, stubborn, tightening his grip on Dimitri. Wanting to be as brave as Dimitri. "I do. ...No matter what demons shackle themselves to you, or what weight you have to carry. I..." He bites his lip. "I'll try harder, not to run away." 

Not now that he knows Dimitri needs him, wants him for the long term. Now that he finally has some space to trust in 'always'. 

He gives him one last squeeze before pulling back to look into those clear blue eyes. 

"So. Can I go with you, when you tell Rodrigue where he can shove it?"

Later on, Dimitri will be afraid. Afraid not of the reality in loving Claude, but of allowing Claude to love him, wholly and fully. To see the ugly depths Dimitri truly sinks to in his darker moments. However, this is not that moment. In this moment Claude is in love with him and ready to stand with him in the face of his kingdom's scrutiny and severe traditions. 

Dimitri is falling deeper in love by the second. 

He laughs, a low, rough pitch. The thought of facing Rodrigue again was unpleasant before but now he's almost looking forward to it. 

"I want nothing more than for you to be with me but we should save... strong language for another time. He will not take me seriously if I have another tantrum in front of him." It's bad enough he only sees Dimitri as a child when he believes Dimitri is straying from his path. Father figure or not, Dimitri will not back down. He will be treated like the man he has become. "We will make it clear to him our courtship will continue, that we are promised to each other." 

And maybe one day... well. That's probably too much for now. To know Claude will be in his life, as they work to fulfill their ambitions? For now, it's enough.

He can't help the way his grin widens at Dimitri's words, holding him all the more tightly. This will continue. This is... a promise. Claude is not particularly adept at making promises, not always able to trust that the person on the other end will keep it. But Dimitri...? The most upright person Claude has ever known? 

Claude has often feared, in the back of his mind, that there was some caveat to the honest, earnest princely demeanor he presents to the world. An asterisk, something that might reveal him as a facade. Now Dimitri has shown his true self to him, and... and it does not contradict the sweet, sincere boy Claude has come to love. Dimitri is haunted, but he is still kind. Tortured, but still honest. His illness does not contradict the face that he has shown Claude all along. 

If this truly is the worst of Dimitri's secrets, Claude no longer has reason to fear. 

"I'll try to contain myself, then," and laughs. He cannot help it - he feels so light, all of a sudden. The weight of years lifted off his shoulders, just by Dimitri holding him. How does he do that? Make Claude remember that he is allowed to just be a boy in love? 

He steals a quick glance for the classroom door, left only slightly ajar. 

"Is this a private enough place to steal a kiss?" he asks, caressing Dimitri's cheek. "Or is that not, I dunno, proper." Dimitri always seems to know the answers to this stuff better than Claude does. They always err on the side of caution in public by refraining from their usual caresses, leaving all but handholding within the privacy of Dimitri's bedroom, but admitting that they love each other... Well, Claude is having trouble containing himself.

_I will never let you feel unwanted. I will love you so dearly you never doubt that my eyes will always rest on you. I love you, Claude._

This feeling permeates every part of his being. Too strong for him to contain in just simple words. And Claude enjoys wordplay, never one to let anyone else have the last word - but Dimitri is a man of action and Claude trusts Dimitri's hands even more than his words. 

He's too sweet, being considerate of the private person Dimitri is... It doesn't matter. The hows and whys and wheres and everything between don't matter when Dimitri’s heart hammers hard in his chest, love radiating off their skin. 

"I don't care." And his hands find Claude's soft cheeks and he kisses him, his braid caught between their faces. Kisses him and thinks of how he always wants to kiss him, anywhere and at any time…

And one day, when they're married, he'll do just that, let everyone see the love between them. 

It's dangerous to dream but ever since Claude stepped into his life, a new light has breached his shadowy future. Dimitri can see himself in it, can place where he might stand -

\- and where he won't have to stand alone.


End file.
